“For every judgement I levy at those who hurt me, a whole truckload is coming back at me – because I have also felt the need to hurt others through utter despair.” Addie Thomas

It is easy to see the wrong or evil that is done to us. Why do we hurt one another? Because we are hurting. No one (unless not in possession of our marbles) hurts others without having an incredible amount of pain within. We are looking for someone / something to deliver us from our pain so we strike out. We busy ourselves with attacking others, so that we can have deliverance.

Love not War

Pain does not go away by creating more pain such as revenge and animosity. Our suffering will increase threefold if we look to rid our pain onto others. Remember the moment you hugged an adversary? Remember the moment you felt the waters of peace flow with that person? All the hang-ups, driven out into the open and discharged to a place of absolute forgiveness. Was that not a nicer feeling (albeit a little uncomfortable) than throwing a dart and waiting for one to be thrown back at you?

I try to remember this when I get offended or hurt. This way, actually, people don’t get to hurt us as much anymore. They probably move on to someone else or learn a lesson from the experience. The only way we can rise above people hurting us is to see the offence for what it is, someone hurting. Tis not to say that we should allow people to hurt us over and over again.

Observe a person who is gossiping maliciously about another person, can you feel their pain? Observe someone who is scheming, can you feel their pain? Observe someone who is attacking another person, can you feel their pain? Observe a person who is putting another person down, can you feel their pain?

Over the years, I have learnt to observe my horridness to others, I have learnt to see it for what it is. Pain. Un-dealt with pain. I can’t keep hurting others and expecting my life to be without pain. Yet, the truth is, I had to stop hurting the little girl inside of me and find self-love and respect.

Bold Street – Liverpool

A friend said to me yesterday, “I want to get to a place where people don’t get to hurt me as much”. I’d love that. The truth is, the majority of us will not be able to live without pain but to identify it quickly, acknowledge and feel it for what it is, the old wounds being spiked time and again. The Addie that reacted aggressively, angrily is a rarity now. It still happens and I still get my moments when I feel the need to cuss the four walls but nothing in this life is worth renting our soul to the darkness for long periods of time.

Pain cannot be suppressed without consequence, we are simply blocking our energy paths and eventually, the explosion will come. Pain needs to work itself through us and out the other end (cussing at the walls may help here and there) whilst always managing the thought process because ill thoughts and emotions are a toxic combination. To sit and feel and yet not to judge. To breathe in and out and allow the ‘poor me’ story to flow into a moment of knowing. “That’s life”.

The heart is meant to stay open, to love, to transmit messages back and forth but when we close it with grudges, non-forgiveness and avoidance of pain, we stop it from transmitting those messages and so all the energy that is meant to flow becomes an ‘infection’. The heart stops operating as it should do.

Often we react without pause, without being the knowing behind where the pain is really coming from and when it first started. So much of our pain is from the early years because we never knew how to spiritually guide it safely away. Religions, dogma, doctrines, ideologies will sometimes increase pain. We are creating fear, punishments, judgements, wrongs against the next person when our own souls are languishing in the unknowing.   Save yourselves first before you try to preach to other people. How can we grant any organisation / business that much power over our free spirit? It is why I do not follow these man-made attempts at control. Look at what they have done to society over the thousands of years that they have been purveyed. Observe, don’t take my word for it, read about what happens when doctrine overrides the natural feelings of love that nature gifted us.

Religion was never meant to be a business. It was never meant to be about titles, pomp, grandeur, control, manipulation. It was never meant to be about structures built in honour of single-minded egotism. Worship God, enjoy it but don’t let some ‘earthly broker’ tell you that you must come though him / her before you can achieve peace. Don’t let anyone tell you, you must be part of a team, you are already part of something so great in this cosmos. Is that not enough? Why pay people on this earth to tell us this? I try my hardest to be kind and friendly, I love, I don’t go to church. I feel more at peace now than I have ever in my painful life. I try not to live in judgement of others and as a result, I feel less judged too.

I am not interested in small talk or saying what people always want to hear. I never started this journey to be liked or accepted. I knew when I went against the grain, I would evoke various emotions, thoughts and sentiments. I respect the expressions of others, but I have the right not to agree or follow.

So the next time someone offends you, look at the place where they are coming from. Look at their history, especially their painful history. Try not to judge them, try not to allow the same pain to seep into your space.

Love is the only answer in a world that uses the words ‘war and fight’ and so creating greater divides.

Liverpool Museum

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